There is free time. There is time that is free. And I pay for it with every minute I’m not working. Nice benefits though.
Sure, part of that time I waste watching trashy sci-fi thrillers. But I’ve gone to yoga. I’ve lifted weights that were perfectly content where they were and remain now that I’ve gone. I’ve run in one place. I’ve seen people and I’ve stayed seeing them long enough to talk to them too. And the best thing is that I’ve had all this time to do errands and chores. Sometimes I go grocery shopping three times in one day! What could be better than that?
It was precarious biking down the street with that grocery bag hanging from one side of my handlebars and I knew it. I was chancing it. Don’t tell yourself but it’s also that my helmet was unbuckled. I don’t normally live so crazy dangerous but I did today and when I did this guy played high school driving test on me and walked between two cars (sneaky pooper) to cross the street without looking both ways. Or even one way. I mean, he looked ahead so that’s one way, fine, but he didn’t look two ways: forward like his toes and otherwise towards oncoming traffic. So I sorta go back to the first thing I said: he didn’t look two ways and both of them weren’t a good idea to not do.
By the grace of God I’m an amazing biker even when I ride the razor blade’s edge of peril with a grocery bag teasing my front wheel comma death. So I was able to slow, say “Hello!” and avoid crashing into him to which his thankful and not-dead-yet response was “take it easy.”
Ok, here’s where it gets good. You know what I said? Wait for it, <space for waiting> I said: “No, you take it easy.” And then, as if that’s not good enough, as I rode away, we went back and forth with this same line a few more times.
Later (fifteen seconds?) I was coming down off my testosterone avalanche. As I came down, my indignant airs diffused and transformed into something other. I wanted to be his mom, to hold him and snuggle with him and remind him that I won’t always be there with him. To tell him that I love him and I need him to be safe so please look more than one way when crossing the street. For me, so that he and we can be. And I faced all of these wants by going home and watching bad sci fi.